Where is the men's room?

• I used to think I was just a regular guy, but . . . I was born white, which now, whether I like it or not, makes me a racist;

• I am a fiscal and moral conservative, which by today's standards, makes me a fascist;

• I am heterosexual, which according to gay folks, now makes me a homophobic;

• I am non-union, which makes me a traitor to the working class and an ally of big business;

• I am a Christian, which now labels me as an infidel;

• I believe in the 2nd Amendment, which now makes me a member of the vast gun lobby;

• I am older than 70, which makes me a useless old man;

• I think and I reason, therefore I doubt much that the main stream media tells me, which must make me a reactionary;

• I am proud of my heritage and our inclusive American culture, which makes me a xenophobe;

• I value my safety and that of my family and I appreciate the police and the legal system, which makes me a right-wing extremist;

• I believe in hard work, fair play, & fair compensation according to each individual's merits, which today makes me an anti-socialist;

• I believe in the defense and protection of the homeland for and by all citizens, which now makes me a militant;

• Recently, a “woman” called me and my friends a “basket of Deplorables;”

• Please help me come to terms with the new me...because I'm just not sure who I am anymore!

I would like to thank all my friends for sticking with me through these abrupt, new found changes in my life and my thinking. I just can't imagine or understand what's happened to me so quickly.

Funny...it's all just taken place over the last 7 or 8 years.

As if all this “crap” wasn't enough to deal with, I'm now afraid to go into either restroom, for fear I will offend someone....