Peculiar Idiosyncrasies

The English language has many peculiar idiosyncrasies. This is a story about how, as a young man, I solved one of those peculiar mysteries.

During my youth, I spent my summers on Grandpa’s farm. One day Grandpa handed me the halter of a cow, and instructed me to take the cow to my uncle’s farm down the lane, to have her ‘serviced.’ So I led Bessy down the lane, handed the halter to my uncle, and said “Grandpa wants this cow serviced.” Then I asked my uncle, “What does this here ‘service’ mean? He replied, “Sonny, you’re too young to know.”  So I sat a spell on a milk stool outside the barn. Before long I began to hear poor Bessy’s traumatic bellowing.

Being more curious than cautious, I walked around to the rear of the barn, so I could peek in the window and see whatever was happening. The window was rather high, so I climbed up on a nearby hay bale in order to peer in. The window was too dirty for me to see anything, so I rubbed a small peek hole on the window with my sleeve, and peered inside.

Now I KNOW what this here word ‘service’ means. And I now KNOW what the Public ‘Service’ employees in Washington DC are doing to the American people!

This story is told with posthumous apologies to Will Rogers for minor edits.