How to file an indictment

How to file an indictment, presentment or criminal complaint:

MR. ROBERT HEFNER WRITES:

If anyone is afraid to file a presentment, let me dispel their fears with an account of how I did it.

Upon entering the county courthouse I had to go through a metal detector to assure the deputy sheriff on guard that I was not carrying a pocketknife. I passed with flying colors. If he had only known what was in my file folder.....

On entering the Clerk of Court's office, I was greeted by one of the employees and asked if she could help me. I handed her the presentment and told her that I would like to file it and receive a file number and receipt. She looked at the presentment and got a funny look on her face, then took it to a superior (that "funny look" was priceless). She returned within a minute and told me that it was a Federal concern.

I asked, "Fraud is no longer a crime in this state?". She said someone else would have to help me and headed toward the "big office."

In a few minutes, she was back (without the presentment) and asked me to take a seat.

Ten minutes later, the head clerk came out of her office with a yellow form, handed it to me, wrote the file number on my copy and directed me to the cashier. I paid the "copying fee" of $8.25 and headed for Rite Aid drug store to use their copying machine.

Nothing to it!


I made a copy of the presentment with the file number, put the original in a manila envelope and mailed it to the District Attorney via "Certified Mail, Receipt Requested".

Mission accomplished!

Now news of the indictment is all over the 'net. How embarrassing for our non-president.

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